Some stupid confusions are there inside my mind since the time I m born. Infact I am a guy with lots of confusion. At the time of my birth I would bet on it that GOD must have been in confusion to create a new creature.These confusions have formed a long list now and it is slowly getting the priority over my dreams.I m not able to decide anything this time.
Ok lets start with my basic confusion.Why I am here for?? Greaat ... before starting writing anything I changed the title 7 times. It goes like this ..... A silent cry, Wounded soul, A thorn in my wounded heart , A confession of my dirty mind,Just a confusion, I lost someone ......finally again it is confusion of my stupid mind. This is a trivial confusion wheneve I try to write I change my title many times.
Yeah its was quite clear a while back tht I was gonna write abt some stupid girl whom I lost because of a stupid reason.Well it's useless to mention her cuz I dont think she will ever understand it. But she still doesnt know tht this idiot can wait forever.Neway this looks like as if I m frustrate but no really I m not.I am quite in my sense and had really a good discussion with someone very good advisor.So definitely I m not gonna talk abt that stupid girl here.
I have quite a few reason to come back n fill this blog with some new petals of words.
First title was A silent cry that means really today I cried for a while and even I dont know why was it for .......but I did. Wounded soul ...... about this the same reason I am still hurt my dear.U dont have any right to intrude into my emotions.
Well 4th one is really interesting The confession of a Dirty mind.... Dirty mind bole to ....sometimes I do things crazy.So I was abt to confess publically without thinking but I didnt.
Anyway there is no point for me to go into those stupid details.Lets cometo the main idea tht I started it.I have a confusion that I am still not able to remove. Hey dont think tht I have fallen in love with any stupids I never had confusion in this regards :) :) ...... yeah that is other thing tht I alawys have a confusion that if a girl has fallen in love with me or not??... hehhehhehhee ... This is the real confusion. Well srry guys n excuse me gals....confusion is abt my life.
Wht I want from my stupid LIFE..... tht is the confusion.I dont know wht do I like most..... a girl , a nice carreer, millions of money, a mercedes benz, or my satisfaction of wht I am ....I think I am good for nothing.This life has become hell for me.Going movie even in weekdays doesnt bring any happiness for me permanently. I am in research team here but didnt like much now moved to development side to learn new thing but still I m not satisfied.I dont have a girl friend even there I am out of luck :P :P so unluckky naaa.
Arey yaar my real confusion is what to do next????? Should I prepare for biggies like M$,Google,Amazon,Yahoo..... or should I go for cracking for name sake that I am least motivated... or should I go for writing my GRE n applying for MS (I know I wont get it) ... or wasting my time with my stupids online. Confusion creats confusion and thts for sure.I am not even sure wht would be happening with me in 4-5 months from now.I m definitely gonna mad.
Chalo bahut confusion ho gaya.thoda time pass to kar hi leta hun. Dekho yaar duniya mein jo ho raha hai hone do. Koi tumhara nahi hai tum kisi ke nahi ho.Fir tum rote kyon ho? Tumne kya laaya tha jo tumne kho diya .....
No more senti because senti makes a man stupid and idiot like I was for sometime.Idiots can make ur life hell and I had already an experience.Koi baat nahi tension nahi lena kaa mast rahne kaa life mein senti nahi hone kaa.
Bye Vinod
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Deep down my heart ....
Deep down my heart there is something that is still hidden that has made its permanent place there without giving any rent..One day a tear dropped down my eye and I asked why it came..it says "I have no place inside you". Tht's how I am.I do not let tears to come reside in my eyes.After a long time I thought of continuing to pen up for my online diary. Many a few incidents happen to take place during last few days tht are worth writing here but I can't give hand to those moments for the time being.
I never need anyone in my life (except very very few).Dont even care for anyone who doesnt care for me.Even sometimes I think do I really take life seriously....NEver I guess. I met lots of new ppl here and the best part is that they all are the birds of a feather flock together. None is of my type .... who doesnt care for the world but they do.I almost forgot my past n even I m trying hard to forget it as soon as possible because there is nothing for me in the past where I lost almost everything for silly reasons. It is not the end of life if u dont get something in the way might be u can get something better thn it if u continue.....LIFE MEANS MOVE ON AND ON.
Bangalore a most happening place in india who is slowly making me insane n addicted to be part of it.A place where I am really happy without a reason. So many things are against me but still they are lesser thn my happiness n satisfaction.First thing I dont see someone here whom I can't even seee in my dream.I dont have to change my route for anyone. I dont have to miss my office 4 someone. I dont have to be senti for someone. I dont have to fight with soemoene.I dont have to take other words to my heart tht they really dont mean.I really dont want to get myself involved with someone here whom I Can't leave in 10 minutes.Yes I can leave anyone in my life who is not of my type and evn I do expect the same from the other end.Why to say YES if you have to say NO.
Perfect match U will never find.At one or the other point of time u will have to compromise it but I dont think I would ever compromise with anyone.I'm the best according to me and the person has be like me who can realise tht I am the best.Then only this two way crawler life will search like a google search engine with mozilla.
Somebody asks my salary..somebody asks if I am married.. somebody asks my height.. somebody asks if I am virgin.. somebody asks me if I have a GF.. somebody asks something nonsense. If they think this is the right parameter to judge a person let them do so I hardly care.I have my own life I can even talk to myself I Can even even stay alone for rest of my life.Do I really need anyone in my life?
I dont take life seriously and it is a fact.Recently I found it is a fun for me but might be for others it is not.Here I was wrong .I'm always free if u ask me to come at ne time if I say ne time then I mean it...I would come but 4 others it is not so.They might have some other commitment in life n no1 has right to question abt the integrity. Though I'm fed up with these online ppl but u know one thing they are in a way better than ur real ppl atleast even if they hurt u U wont get hurted and one thing abt them is like at any point of time we can stop without disturbance.We expect something more.Perhaps our expectations are unmet? The expectations that we are better off not having in the first place.
Then again, why would that necessarily be a criteria, if we were able to converse freely with people without the same mindset, even as soon as we meet them?
Neway there are lots for me to write but time wont stop for me. N it doesnt permit me to write more cuz this is the time for me to work now.But deeeeeeeeeep down my heart I have still many thoughts which are craving for words to come out.....
VInod
I never need anyone in my life (except very very few).Dont even care for anyone who doesnt care for me.Even sometimes I think do I really take life seriously....NEver I guess. I met lots of new ppl here and the best part is that they all are the birds of a feather flock together. None is of my type .... who doesnt care for the world but they do.I almost forgot my past n even I m trying hard to forget it as soon as possible because there is nothing for me in the past where I lost almost everything for silly reasons. It is not the end of life if u dont get something in the way might be u can get something better thn it if u continue.....LIFE MEANS MOVE ON AND ON.
Bangalore a most happening place in india who is slowly making me insane n addicted to be part of it.A place where I am really happy without a reason. So many things are against me but still they are lesser thn my happiness n satisfaction.First thing I dont see someone here whom I can't even seee in my dream.I dont have to change my route for anyone. I dont have to miss my office 4 someone. I dont have to be senti for someone. I dont have to fight with soemoene.I dont have to take other words to my heart tht they really dont mean.I really dont want to get myself involved with someone here whom I Can't leave in 10 minutes.Yes I can leave anyone in my life who is not of my type and evn I do expect the same from the other end.Why to say YES if you have to say NO.
Perfect match U will never find.At one or the other point of time u will have to compromise it but I dont think I would ever compromise with anyone.I'm the best according to me and the person has be like me who can realise tht I am the best.Then only this two way crawler life will search like a google search engine with mozilla.
Somebody asks my salary..somebody asks if I am married.. somebody asks my height.. somebody asks if I am virgin.. somebody asks me if I have a GF.. somebody asks something nonsense. If they think this is the right parameter to judge a person let them do so I hardly care.I have my own life I can even talk to myself I Can even even stay alone for rest of my life.Do I really need anyone in my life?
I dont take life seriously and it is a fact.Recently I found it is a fun for me but might be for others it is not.Here I was wrong .I'm always free if u ask me to come at ne time if I say ne time then I mean it...I would come but 4 others it is not so.They might have some other commitment in life n no1 has right to question abt the integrity. Though I'm fed up with these online ppl but u know one thing they are in a way better than ur real ppl atleast even if they hurt u U wont get hurted and one thing abt them is like at any point of time we can stop without disturbance.We expect something more.Perhaps our expectations are unmet? The expectations that we are better off not having in the first place.
Then again, why would that necessarily be a criteria, if we were able to converse freely with people without the same mindset, even as soon as we meet them?
Neway there are lots for me to write but time wont stop for me. N it doesnt permit me to write more cuz this is the time for me to work now.But deeeeeeeeeep down my heart I have still many thoughts which are craving for words to come out.....
VInod
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